if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
