I'm so fucking centered right now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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