i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
