in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
