Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Randomize
Follow @tfln