fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.