So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
