The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sorry about my life...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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