first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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