i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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