oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize