i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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