Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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