I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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