is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
