you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
