I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
