Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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