can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
