I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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