thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
