Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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