We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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