Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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