I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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