so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
