The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
