There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
