so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize