hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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