sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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