they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
