sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize