There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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