i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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