He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
