Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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