i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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