the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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