The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
