I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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