that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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