somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
