She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
