I wanna bring you to show and tell
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
