id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
