they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
