It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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