TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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