I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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