quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the day after is always just damage control
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
