OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
