No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
