I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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