Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
