Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I came so hard my ears popped.
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