Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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