I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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