She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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