Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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