areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I look better un-naked...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
