a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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