yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
