Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
