I swear she didn't look like that last week.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
