There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You pole danced in your parka.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
