maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
