I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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