I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
