i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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