Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No subtext here. People are naked.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
