This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
